Picture the scene - I am sitting at home one evening when my 'phone rings. A voice says:
"Hello. I intend to buy a suit tomorrow. Do you think I should buy a black one or a blue one? And what about pinstripes?"
How should I know? I don't know the chap, I have no idea whether he is tall, short, fat, thin or purple with blue spots. Critically, I don't have an insight into his tastes.
Daft, innit?
So why do otherwise sane (big leap of faith, I know) people go on internet fora to ask total strangers whether they should buy a black or a chrome camera body? Leaving aside for a moment the practical aspects - black paint wears faster than chrome plate, for example - why would anyone think that someone else would have an aesthetic insight that could possibly relate to them? Do they spend their lives in a fog of eternal indecision, wondering whether to have tea or coffee? I think not...
...I hope not.
And another thing.
Why do so many people list their kit in their signatures? I don't mean a quick one liner, I mean a full inventory of every filter, flash lead and viewfinder that occupies their presumably enormous gadget bag? I have lost count of the number of posts that are shorter than their originator's signature. I used to have a mother-in-law (#1, I think) who said "the only difference between men and boys is the size of their toys". In that, at least, I think she had a point. I really couldn't care less how many lenses or bodies someone has. It neither makes them a better person nor gives them any enhanced right to be listened to, but some will persist in listing to the same level of obsessive detail as a ten-year old giving their home address:
15 Railway Cuttings
Chigley
Trumptonshire
England
United Kingdom
Europe
The World
The Solar System...
..and so on.
There is a similar "bragging rights" factor at work when the "Armchair CEO" pitches up. Often more interested in a camera as an investment rather than as a picture taking tool, the Armchair CEO has absolute certitude on his side. He has a lifetime of doing "stuff" in, with, or for companies and he is therefore ideally placed to "save" the unfortunate company that produces the object of his affection. Never mind that he has no access to the books, or that he has never worked in the industry, he and he alone (f0r it is always a he) has THE answer to the company's "problems". He will of course never research before pontificating and heaven help anyone who introduces inconvenient logic into the equation. The Armchair CEO is often congenitally unable to appreciate any point of view other than his own and struggles with dissent "in the ranks". He is also incapable of running any form of search to establish what has been said before. Either that, or he is sure that, if HE says it, everyone will realise how right he is.
Finally, we come full circle to the bag fetishist. They are closely related to those ladies for whom a new pair of shoes is a religious observance, and a platform is not something that trains arrive at. Never mind practicality, the bag fetishist is in search of that holy grail of camera bags - something that almost but not quite says "I'm full of cameras", but only in a language understandable by a select few. They want to be able to flaunt their taste and photographic wealth in such a way that they are completely invisible to anyone that might want to mug them for it. This group are probably responsible, single-handed, for the consumption of more server space than any other.
A bag fetishist's dream - look at all that shiny brass!!
Forum members all. Love 'em, hate 'em, but they keep the world spinning - and bag manufacturers in business.
Bill
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- All images on this blog are copyright Bill Palmer and may not be reproduced in any format or medium without permission.
- Are Armchair CEOs answerable to a Side Board?
- Are Armchair CEOs answerable to a Side Board?
Got it 100% right, here, Bill.
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